People love to talk…

An article by Elizabeth Bernstein, which recently appeared in The Wall Street Journal, contained some excellent advice for being a good conversationalist. First, ask lots of questions. According to the article, “People love to talk about themselves and often will think you are a great conversationalist if you talk about them and not yourself.” For example, ask the other person what he or she likes to do for fun or what they do for a living. Second, actively listen to what the other person has to say. One way to communicate to the other person that you’re actively listening is to summarize what the other person has said. According to the article, Dan Nainan, a comedian from Manhattan, summarizes by using statements such as: “(‘So, you think that…’ or ‘So what you’re saying is…’) ‘A conversation can go on indefinitely if you do this,’ he says.” The key is to focus on the other person and give them the opportunity to tell their story. If you do this, the people you’re talking to will not only immediately like you, but they will think you’re a very good conversationalist as well.