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An article by Sue Shellenbarger, which recently appeared in The Wall Street Journal, pointed out an interesting paradoxical fact: “When someone is getting stressed out, one of the least effective (and perhaps most annoying) things to say is ‘Relax.’” She goes on to say that while the person communicating this directive may have the best of intentions, telling someone to relax has the exactly opposite effect on most people.

The article further points out that if you really want to help a stressed out person calm down, a better approach would be to say something like the following: “Looks like you’re having a tough day…Tell me what’s going on.” This acknowledges the other person’s feelings and provides them an opportunity to talk about those feelings. As a result, they begin to relax. This is advice worth hanging on to.

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