The above is a quote from Mother Teresa. What it means is that when someone is emotionally down, or at their wits end, the last thing they need is advice or criticism—a lecture, if you will. Instead, they need a hug—comfort, support, and understanding from someone who cares. For example, I was watching my son when he was very young. He had been crying for quite a while and I didn’t know how to deal with this. Just then a colleague of mine stopped by who was a nonparent and an expert in psychology. The doorbell distracted my son, and he temporarily stopped crying. When my son resumed his crying, I reached down to pick him up. At this point, my colleague smugly said, “You know that by picking him up, you’re just reinforcing the crying.” He offered criticism and advice when I needed a hug, and it made me feel inadequate and depressed. It also made me feel angry because as a nonparent, he was in no position to give advice. So, be that person who cares by listening, showing empathy and letting them know that you are their friend. This will give them the confidence, courage, and determination they need to get through their difficult time, and it will greatly strengthen your friendship.

One Sentence Wisdom

• “Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.” — Theodore Roosevelt
• “I follow three rules: Do the right thing, do the best you can, and always show people you care.” — Lou Holtz

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