… feuds don’t have a time limit …
Last week’s Reminder, which was about taking advantage of opportunities to forgive others, generated a fair number of comments. One in particular caught my attention. This person said, “I have a tear in my eye, and I wasn’t even there! My wife hasn’t seen her sister for at least 30 years, but neither have my son or daughter met their other aunt. Feuds should have a time limit, as life is too precious to hold any grudge.” This gentleman makes an excellent point: if feuds had a time limit, there would be no long term grudges. Unfortunately, feuds don’t have a time limit and the longer that time passes, the more difficult it becomes to do what is necessary to restore the relationship. Of course, the best way to deal with feuds is to avoid them in the first place. However, if you ever do find yourself pulled into one, don’t let it go on more than 24 hours before you take action to restore the relationship. Take a deep breath, make that phone call and apologize. You’ll feel much better and so will the other person. More importantly, your relationship will be back to normal and you’ll avoid the agonizing experience of a long term grudge.
hI Ross: I (we) sisters, only 3 left; but we grew up in the most beautiful and warm, loving Italian environment; mom stressed protection for each other and never, ever hold a grudge; yes, we fought verbally, pillow fights, and still today argue and disagree, (politics, etc.) and sometimes insult each others faults; BUT, the raised voices, turn quickly into laughter and loads of love/respect for each other; we are very honest and critical of each others faults; BUT, we always show the love that mom instilled in us; we never, ever hold a grudge; forgiveness is automatic with us; (We have hever met any family that think like we do; we hear stories of sisters, brothers NOT TALKING, and our hearts hurt for them and feel: what a waste.) BUT, after all, we came from the same place, our Mother’s womb. She raised us well; We know our Mother is proud of us and what she instilled in our lives. We are 87, 82 and 78 respectively.
Dear Helen,
Thank you so much for you wonderful response to my Weekly Reminder. It really warmed my heart to read it. Thank you so much.